our propaganda


besides the buttons pictured on the opening page - which were passed out by a lovely lady dressed in a green jumpsuit carrying a sign that read "the end is nigh - - and i feel fine", the following flyer was handed out at the voting meeting on April 16th:


CIVIL DEFENSE ALL PURPOSE

SURVIVAL CRACKER

This survival cracker has been provided for you courtesy of the Loscon Gazette. Please follow the instructions below for proper use of your cracker.

Instructions For Use:

  1. Determine that this is an actual emergency.

  2. You may be tempted to just eat the crackers. Do not eat them! These are real live civil defense crackers. God alone knows how old they really are.

  3. Ignore the fact that they smell like crayons. Your government knows best, believe me!

  4. Feeding the crackers to your dog is an SPCA offense, punishable in the State of California by a minimum fine of $500.

  5. If this was a real emergency, you'd be thinking about how good roots and grass would taste about now.

  6. Trying grasping the cracker firmly in your hand, sighting along the line of your thumb, and taking aim at something living. One good shot with one of these babies and you'll knock it out enough to catch it and cook it.

  7. Your best bet is to use the raffle ticket to try and win yourself something decent to eat!

VOTE FOR LIZ
FOR LOSCON XXVI



attached to the flyer was a raffle ticket and a real honest to goodness civil defense cracker, thankfully enclosed in a brown paper envelope. as it turned out, lead envelopes would have been more appropriate. the 'crayon-like' aroma was astounding. many people tore the envelopes loose, pitched the crackers immediately, and saved the raffle ticket and flyer. one member walked by my desk, rubbed his stomach, and said earnestly, "hey, you got any more of those crackers? those last couple were delicious!" he must have liked watching me recoil in horror.

the raffle ticket was for a "fabulous end of the world meal" extolled on a sign as being 'exquisite cuisine skillfully prepared', 'completely portable to any location' and 'conveniently ready whenever you are'. Yes, it's true, we did raffle off an MRE. it was meal #5 - chicken stew. the 'lucky' winner was Tim Hobbs.

it was exceptionally silly.

which was, of course, the point.

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